We still have a landline in our home and our faux antique phones do not have caller id. Our line is not connected to voicemail, as those that need to reach us have our cell numbers. Because of this, the home phone tends to ring and ring until the caller eventually gives up or we answer.

Recently, the phone in the next room began ringing. After several annoying rings, I finally answered the call. To no surprise of mine, a robo call blared away reminding me of the impending expiration of my car warranty. The call exclaimed ‘This is your last reminder from us!’ – a threat that I have learned to ignore because, I know come tomorrow, I will get that same call.

This recent robo call got me thinking about all the times we claim we are doing something for the last time and, yet, we continue to do that same thing over and over again. We may tell ourselves that this is the ‘last time’ and then we find ourselves once again in the same frustrating place.

What are some ways we can stop ourselves from this form of self-sabotaging behavior?

Awareness – Sometimes we become so comfortable in our behavior patterns that we don’t even know we are repeating them. Recognizing situations that trigger us is a first step towards changing an unwanted reaction. Once we have this new awareness, we can create an opportunity to catch ourselves before reacting. This takes practice, but it’s worthwhile.

Discovery – Through introspection, we are better able to address what emotions are hindering us from breaking certain forces of habit. This is best done by exploring what stories we are telling ourselves around the repetitive action. Are we rationalizing a behavior out of fear? Are we tolerating something that doesn’t align with our values? These are just a few helpful questions that we can ask ourselves.  

Readiness – We are the best experts in knowing when we are ready for change. Our willingness to move forward is most always our choice. We all get there in our own time frame. When we are ready, even the smallest forward progress can empower us towards further change.

I learned to utilize these strategies in my constant quest to improve my own quality of life. In the beginning, these skills did not come naturally. But, with practice and time these strategies have become part of my life. While I would like to say that I consistently follow through when I claim, ‘this is the last time,’ inevitably that is not always the case. And, that is absolutely fine. Change is incremental, and many times that change starts with mindfulness – one step (or dare I say, ring!) at a time.